The Laws Of The Universe... abridged
Originally posted here.
- Murphy's Law:
Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
O'Toole's Commentary on Murphy's Law:
Murphy was an optimist.
Note: Murphy's Law is recursive:
Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.
Murphy's Law Of Programming:
The sooner you start coding your program, the longer it takes.
Murphy's Law Of Research:
Enough research will tend to support your theory.
- The Unspeakable Law:
As soon as you mention something
... if it is good it goes away,
... if it is bad it happens.
- Howe's Law:
Every man has a scheme which will not work.
- Non-Reciprocal Law Of Expectations:
Negative expectations yield negative results.
Positive expectations yield negative results.
- Zymergy's Law Of Evolving System Dynamics:
Once you open a can of worms, the only way to re-can them is
to get a bigger can.
- Etorre's Observation:
The other queue moves faster.
- Skinner's Constant (Flannagan's Finagling Factor):
That quantity which when added to, subtracted from, multiplied by
or divided through gives the answer you should have got.
- Law Of Selective Gravity:
Objects fall so as to do the most damage.
- Jenning's Corollary:
The chance of bread falling butter side down is directly
proportional to the cost of the carpet.
- Gordon's First Law:
If a research project isn't worth doing at all, it's not worth
- Maier's Law:
If the facts do not conform to the theory they must be disposed of.
- Hoare's Law Of Small Problems:
Inside every small problem is a large problem trying to get out.
- The Golden Rule Of Arts And Sciences:
Whoever has the gold makes the rules.
- Boren's First Law Of Tutorials:
When in doubt mumble.
- Barth's Distinction:
There are two types of people, those that divide people into two
groups and those that don't.
- Segal's Law:
A man with one watch may know what the time is, but a man with two
watches is never sure.
- Ninety-nine Rule Of Project Schedules:
The first 90% of a project takes 90% of the time, and the final 10%
takes the other 90% of the time.
- Farber's Fourth Rule:
Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.
- Launegayer's Maxim:
If at first you don't succeed - so much for sky-diving.
- Mahaffrey's Observation:
There is no such thing as a large whiskey.
- Eugene's Theorem:
Don't put off till tomorrow what you an do today
- if you enjoy it today you can enjoy it again tomorrow.
- Simpson's Rule Of Pecuniary Advancement:
Always borrow from a pessimist - he doesn't expect to get it back.
- Unwin's Learning Curve:
Experience is what enables us to make a new mistake each time.
- Jone's Law:
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone
he can blame it on.
- The Thinking Rule:
A badly thought out project takes three times the expected time,
a well thought out project only takes twice the expected time.
- Wood's Third Law:
Every action has an equal and opposite ulterior motive.
- Newman's First Law:
Every body will remain at rest until the boss gets mad.
- Anthony's Law Of Force:
Don't force it, get a bigger hammer.
- Clint's Law
A .44 magnum ALWAYS beats 4 aces.
- Micro Credo:
Never trust a computer bigger than you can lift.
- Pohl's Law:
Nothing is so good that someone, somewhere won't hate it.
- Sattinger's Law:
It works better when you plug it in.
- Anthony's Law Of The Workshop:
Any tool when dropped will roll into the least accessible corner
of the workshop.
On the way to the corner any dropped tool will first hit your toes.
- Gray's Law Of Programming:
'n+1' trivial tasks are expected to be accomplished in the same
time as 'n' trivial tasks.
Logg's Rebutal To Gray's Law:
'n+1' trivial tasks take twice as long as 'n' trivial tasks.
- Paul's Law:
You can't fall off the floor.
- H.L. Mencken's Law:
Those who can - do,
those who can't - teach.
Those who can't teach - administrate.
- The Brigg's Law Of Program Development:
To determine how long it will take to write and debug a program
take your best estimate, double it, add 1 and convert to the
next highest units.
- Ehrmann's Commentary:
1). - Things will get worse before they get better.
2). - Who said things will get better.
- Bedfellow's Law:
The one that snores always falls asleep first.
- Jacob's Law:
To err is human, to blame it on someone else is even more human.
- Young's Law:
All great discoveries are made by mistake.
The greater the research funding the longer it takes to make
- Fletcher's Law of Crying Over Spilt Milk:
The attractive force between any form and a fluid is proportional
to the form and inversely proportional to the viscosity of the
A grunginess constant is also involved which includes the relative
colours of the form and fluid, the proximity of the nearest sink,